Right where we thought
we are in heaven
a tuck on our flesh
started to smell bitter

it was long when we were dead
we realized
instead of reincarnation
we choose to stay otherwise

silent we were not
when it came unto us
because we are swayed
to be a weed and spread
with a fuss

we talk about clones
we talk about wealth
but lost the grace
to grovel down our
own self

why are we trying
hard to loose it
when its already lost
but we never stop to
prove it.

yes; we are dead
and life is just
sneaking upon the gaps
where u left your scabs.

row by row my bed starts to trail,
trail in the morning wind,
supported by a bamboo tree,
and hung on to your paddle creek.

laid a moleskin,
soft and lathery with all its grace,
traces of blood spots the center,
might be the man who tanks the filter,
lousy mousy i step in the porch,
left to rise again......

Sometimes we tend to think about how surely we are gonna be paid in the larger scale of things. larger may be associated with everything related to your actions and its consequences. life is consequences. In fact, life is a bucket full of consequence. Your thoughts are founder of ideas and the ideas; the consequence of thoughts, to all other thoughts. Right now what i have written is a memorandum of ideas being transfixed, dispersed and digested. Then, what are we paying for?

Absolutely Nothing.. its a never ending spiral..

Somalia a country where starvation to death or death on kill prevails. I am very unsure about its present economic or social state but its inevitable to cross check the level of lethargy  put on this nation (and other nations like this)by all other nations. It will all submerse into the ocean and we the mankind will have no existence. I am not a pessimist but in intermediate to know whats actually coming. i am just being optimistic of my KNOWING because its not a belief.

I am the very Beautiful

How can you possibly illustrate this documentary in your own way when there are no set standards of cultural dogma that stands more on grounds for moral skepticism? I am the very beautiful defies the conventionality of documentary film making in a manner that might be pragmatic and self contained, deferring to the moral grounds of a touting neo cultural and neo secular doctrines of society as well as film making.

Shyamal Karmakar the director of the movie has paradoxically played a key role to elevate the poignant claimer of the film, as if to validate the hind side theme of the film “men will be men”. The most prominent stint to this validation is the most mind boggling scene of the film where Shyamal reaches to his open pants and pulls out a microphone, a digital video tape and finally an embroidered prayer cap. The cap symbolizes the worshipfulness beside lust and desire. Shyamal has endured to expose his own vulnerability, which is quite what he has intended to do and bring forth the main motif of the character of bar singer Ranu Gayen.

Ranu Gayen like any other protagonist leads the bits and pieces on which her life depends. But unlike others she has a way to commemorate or flaunt about her body more than her inner self and mental afflictions. I was quite dismayed at the beginning, unraveling the diluted sequence of the documentary, but upon further glance  I appreciated the beguiling contradictions of self denial spinning around like a tornado swirling around its eye. It’s hard to occupy Ranu Gayen’s misery to the gut because there is still an uncompromising flair on her face that lights up the stage at any instance. The emotional vulnerability of the subject goes through a test of time as Shyamal (as I have decrypted) plays along with it and tries to reflect the other more rational facet of the same coin. Ranu Gayen on other hand doesn’t even bother to become a voyeuristic obligation to which Shyamal is having an unconditional bond and is more indulged in activities which pertains to the condition of pervasive relationship with her. Shooting her nude, talking dirty and trying to revoke sexual desires on her, Shyamal has evidently carried upon his admiration in a more emotional context, yet some of the scenes depict the perpetual schism consequently showing the hesitation of the director.

A very interesting and queer thing that I noticed in Ranu’s life is that though she is a victim of male chauvinism that wounded her in the process of consumption, yet her survival is on it now. Her family has accepted her the way she is, in fact they are in humble debt for all that she has done for her family. And she is proud of that although she doesn’t hold any bilateral ties with her family.

It is not quite possible to accept the fact that Ranu’s perception of herself around this patriarch realm is justified and true to the Indian context, though her misery (which has molded her as she is now) is just another example of the extortion and violation women of India face. According to me the post marriage scenario that she is in now digging deeper and deeper, has made her a strong, cunning, self efficient and a self worthy women which is quite contrary to the fact that her source of bread is from an unusual place. My admiration towards Ranu is her proclamation of not being a prostitute though she confesses her desire to sleep with men whom she like, even she accepts her desires toward Shyamal and the rejected offer of marrying him. She is truly a feminist however she stamps it on to her conscious. Probably she wouldn’t have been one if it is for her pre martial life which is the reason for her grievous past. Or may be this hard to shrug off undiffused morality kicks us back to the path of liberty and self-consciousness.

I believe that Shyamal has cracked the veneer of public persona and exposed the genuine self. Through this documentary, I affirm that only portraiture like this, mediated by a sensitive human eye can capture the delicacy of a persons feature, pinning down in visual form the nature of human spirit.

She lingers in my mind for a while after the documentary is over. Probably because there is conflict between the empathizer and the rationality factor, I force myself into just trying to articulate the documentary.

The Band

I thought change in the social dilemma can be brought by the initiative individual effort breeding into a collective force. I was not so very right about in fact dint anticipated wrong about it the same time. The perpetual gap that exists in the mainstream is still evident in today’s proportions.  My first encounter with progressive livelihood was a total awakening, which gradually fore fended with the idea of patronization and imbecile domination. People just want to linger upon there preconceived limbo. A few can be held accountable of the thoughts they try to spread consciously or unconsciously. But my realization part is with the fact that to stand tall against the prevailing idiosyncrasies is but a tiny dot against a huge mountain.


At the moment it’s apparent as in, the climax of a movie finally discloses with a bang.

Form And SPA............................CE

Form and Space

a failure to communicate. Some men just can’t reach to the edge and they blabber about being the outcast among all other outcasts. If we look at individual with a subjective preposition we reveal a vast diversity of thoughts that are so similar to itself but still so very different in themselves.

In this context how could a person be judgemental about his periphery and be the most unaware person. The reason behind this is hidden in his one self. The subject is so much surrounded by his subjective interpretation that for him every context becomes a reflection of his own subject.

It is exactly plausible as in “Form inside a Form” rather than “Form in a Space”. It would not lose its identity unless and until the consciousness awakens to a more objective approach